Blog So Hard
All My Cousins Wanna Find me
When Brothers Unite.
Four score and thirty-six tweets ago, to the quaking bellows
of rambunctious thunder, my brother hatched from a massive purple and
salmon-pink polka dot egg. He broke free, shovel and tour-guide microphone in
hand. As he left his hard-shelled womb he began to delicately ascend through
time and space to the precipice of a CitySights double decker bus, stepping
across Colorado and Minnesota on his way. A single moonbeam fleeted across the
eggshell that glistened in his wake.
As the moonlight graced the sparkling husk ancestral
spirits, like the Northern Lights, began to quiver across the sky. The
silhouettes shook, two figures, dancing. A man who looked remarkably like Santa
Clause twirled a woman who, from her war paint and battle markings, was
certainly from Princeton. In an instant that felt like 19 months, as time
dwindled through the Geographic delirium, the egg began to shake once more.
Ambitious rock climbers scaled Greek yogurt volcanoes. Candyland
imps frolicked between ponds of sugar-free jelly, islands of low carb toast. The
bosom of new fallen snow illuminated with a single hoof-print. The brother chased
the Mexican red wolf to its den.
Suddenly,
Like Excalibur rising from the ashes,
A phoenix drawing from the stone,
Like the great kombucha waterfall tumbling
To the dark fathoms of scoby graveyards,
With a howl and then a sputter,
A cow and then an udder,
To the universe’s laughter,
Another child burst from the polka dot egg.
